Day 6: Kono Crater Trail & Kona Brewing Company

Koko Head Crater (image courtesy of www.everytrail.com)

The last few days have been so busy that I haven't been doing as much hiking as I would like. That being said, I wouldn't call today's activity a hike so much as a brutal test in how long you can keep climbing for before your heart feels like it's going to explode. It is less like a hike and more like an intense Stair Master that you can't hit the "stop" button on. I guess just enough time had passed since the last time I did this hike for me to forget how painful it was, because I foolishly agreed to do it again.

At the very bottom looking up. It doesn't look so bad, right?

Koko Head Crater is one of three on the Island. In terms of height it is the second highest; in terms of strenuousness, it takes the lead. The peak of Koko Crater, Kohelepelepe (or Puʻu Mai), rises to an alarming 1208 ft (368 m). How you get to the peak varies by person, I personally employed a mixture of scrambling hands over feet and pushing on my knees in an attempt to buoy my body up just another few steps.

I stop to take a break (250 steps up) and disguise it as a picture break.

The 1050 railroad ties from the bottom to the top are packed with iron-rich red dirt that stains anything it touches. The path is loosely called a stairway, due to the grooves that many determined feet have work in the areas between the beams, but the similarities end there. The ties are not spaced evenly apart and most require and awkward 1.5-2 steps each for the average person's stride. Some are disintegrating, others pass over open air. The ground below this portion of the trail is littered with dropped possessions.

People from all walks of life attempt this trail. On this particular visit I saw military men, hikers with dogs (Go Pros in tow), mothers with children strapped to their backs, teenagers, grandparents, and tourists like myself. Regardless of age or physical ability we were all covered in thick sheens of sweat. There was a sort of comraderie between hikers, regardless of age or language. If you were on your way up, you wished those on the way down good luck, and if you were on your way down, you encouraged those still laboring up the crater to keep going.

Another break. About halfway up.

Alicia summed this experience up perfectly when, about halfway up the trail, she asked through labored breaths, "Why are we doing this again?" I gave a weak laugh and struggled up another few steps. At that point we were too high up to turn around. I am pretty sure that I sweated off all of my sunscreen before I even hit the half-way mark. What replaced it was dirt, thick and clay-colored, which I acquired as I scrambled up steep inclines or stepped off the trail to let someone pass down.

The view from the top was beautiful, the breeze was even better. As it was a clear day we could see all three Islands and the other side of Koko crater.I hung out up here just long enough to catch my breath, and take int he view for a little while. Jesse found a small prayer box at the top, stuffed full of wishes and thoughts of those who had hiked before us.
 

In some ways, going down was worse than coming up. As these were not really "stairs" and were not spaced evenly apart, my choices were to put both feet on each, toddler style, for 1050 stairs, or to take giant strides in order to put each foot down once, and risk building up speed. Both choices were hard on the knees.

In a terrifying moment, the Japanese woman behind me slipped and slid into her husband, who tumbled just past me, knocking a leg out from under me. Thankfully, I did not go far, nor did they. I let them pass me by a good dozen steps after that, keeping my distance. The incident had been a good reminder that other hikers pose potential threats to my safety.

We drove around for a while after the hike, looking for ocean to wash our bodies in, then proceeded to the Kona Brewing Company, where we celebrated our amazing feat of physical strength (and now-wobbly legs) with some liquid aloha and delicious fare.

Day 5: Tide Pools and Sea Kayaking

The Hardenburgs, like I had on my first full day on HI time, awoke bright and early, ready for action of Friday. We killed time until the kayak rental place opened, then headed over to pick up two tandems and a single, which we piled three high on Derrick's car (your car is fine, Derrick!)with the help of some foam rack tops and securing belts. Seats, life vests, and oars shoved into the trunk, we carefully picked our way along the local streets to Kailua Beach, where we got them in the water and began the 45 minute trek to Nā Mokulua, also known at "The Mokes" or "The Twin Islands".

Nā Mokulua as seen from the Lanikai Pill Boxes

These two islets are located about 3/4 mile off the windward coast of Lanikai,O'ahu, and have long been visible to me from my favorite spot on Kailua Beach. Only one of the islands is actually available to land on, Moku Nui. The other, Moku Iki, is off-limits to visitors as the entire island is a State Seabird Sanctuary. Locals surf and spear fish on either side of the islands and rumor has it that at least one tiger shark lives between them.

The ride out, while not especially strenuous, was long. Instead of opting to put our kayaks in the water directly across from the islands, we put them in the water about a mile further down the beach, where we were able to find parking for our cars, meaning that we had to approach the islands at a diagonal. This was made more complicated by the fact that the shortest distance to the island from this angle, a straight line, was littered with high reefs that we needed to navigate around.In most places the water was so clear that we could see to the ocean floor. There were many calls of "watch out!", "Don't come over here!" and "Iceberg, straight ahead!" as we picked our way through and around the reef.

As we approached the islands the waves took on a life of their own, coming in at all directions and occasionally ricocheting off of the islands and meeting in the middle, then rushing out in opposite directions to chase our boats away from the shore. With help from each other and a few friendly strangers who had already made it out to the island, we beached our vehicles, reapplied sunscreen, and took off to explore.

View of beached kayaks, looking back toward the shore

 In our excitement and haste to get in the water, we had made one crucial error when we pushed off from the shore - we assumed we wouldn't need shoes. This is normally a resonable assumption, given that the majority of places you can walk on the island are covered in sand or dirt, but what we did not know was that Moku Nui, largely untouched by humans, was covered in jagged volcanic rocks.

As none of us were wearing shoes, this made for slow, sometimes painful climbing as we picked our way around the perimeter of the island. Only the twins emerged completely unharmed - clambering over a rock Justin cut his foot, climbing up a ridge Jesse cut his arm, easing down a ledge, I scraped my hip. Alicia would later suffer a loss of another kind to the island but it would not involve blood.

J9 snaps a pic of me from a high ledge

Determined to find the hidden tide pools, we clambered on determinedly. Along the way we saw crabs, sea urchins, and birds. Of course, the agile Janine found it first, just as I was longingly thinking of fluffly slippers and the healing pedicures we had received just the day before. As is the case with most things on this island, the outcome was worth the discomfort (and shredded feet).

Nestled between two crops of rock was a tide pool with a perfect view of the ocean. We scoped it out for a few minutes, noticing spiky sea urchins in some spots, chunks of algae in others, and two large (and friendly) fish lazily drifting about 5 feet down. The pool was at least 15 feet deep, some 10 feet wide, and at least 15 feet long. We did not try to touch the bottom, not knowing what was down there.

Carefully maneuvering around the sea urchins, we took turns gracefully plopping into the icy water. It was at this time that Jesse unknowingly sacrificed Alicia's iPhone to the tide pool. In response to a casual question about the location of Alicia's phone, Jesse hastily removed a ziplock bag from the back pocket of his bathing suit, containing one iPhone floating in a pool of salt water.

Treading water in one of the tide pools we found. The ocean is behind us.

Around this time the coast guard flew by at an unusually low altitude, which Janine said was a warning to us to move away from that section of the island. Gingerly we picked our way back among the sharp rocks and began the process of timing our push off with the crazily unpredictable waves. We watched a boat in front of us try unsuccessfully to take off in a swell that drove him back toward shore, then out toward the rocks, and quickly pushed off after a set of four waves, booking it until we were a safe distance away from the islands.

(Left to right) Justin, Jesse, Alicia, and me on Moku Nui Island

After returning the kayaks we topped off the day with acai bowls and poke in Kailua, then enjoyed some quiet movie time together at home. Later that night Janine made dinner, we talked, and hung out with the puppies. As I had on my first full day, The Hardenburgs struggled to stay awake until the end of the day.

Day 4: Welcome to Paradise

Horses penned in near the bay

As today was my last day alone with Janine before her siblings arrived, we decided to make it a girls' day out!

Following a delicious breakfast (over-easy eggs on sprouted grain toast with sunflower greens, avocado, and sesame oil) we hopped in the Mini and made our way to the North Shore. Our destination was  Turtle Bay Resort, 850 acres of land over Kuilima Cove. 

Our first event of the day was horseback riding on the beach. Thankfully, I'd had a refresher course in riding from my friend Val a couple weeks prior to this event and was able to remember to keep my toes up and heels down! Each of our horses was docile and well-trained; we hardly had to direct them at all except for when we walked through "candy patches" of delicious greens, when some horses (mine included) would wander off into tall bushes to tear away at the delicious greens. Our trail ride lasted roughly 45 minutes and took us past the bay where Catching Fire was filmed (we watched it later this week to confirm). Janine's horse, Feather, was in the movie Saving Sara Marshall, and my horse, Shania, had apparently starred in a few Japanese magazine shoots. As riding on the actual beach is illegal, this ride took us along a trail just above the beach - apparently the closest you can get to riding on the sand in Hawai'i without being fined. 

After dismounting and peeling my helmet off my now-sticky head, Janine and I migrated over the the resort's public access beach, where we suited up and laid under a tree on the edge of the beach with some refreshing pina coladas.

It was here that I finally began to relax. Traveling , especially between time zones, can take a toll, and I had been moving so fast since I arrived that I hadn't had a chance to completely unwind (I'm sure the pina coladas helped!). Laying in the sand with the sun peeking through the tree branches, my best friend by my side and the rush of the waves filling my ears, I was able to calm down and really appreciate my surroundings. How lucky I am, to have experienced this beautiful island twice!

Ahi Shoyu Poke

This trip is shaping up to be very different from my last one, given the shorter time span, my mental state, and to-do list. The last time I was here my mom was preparing for a very serious bone marrow transplant back home, my life was full of uncertainties, and everything I saw in Hawai'i was new and magical. This trip feels very different, more familiar in some ways and completely alien in others. I know the arrival of the three Hardenburgs tonight will shake things up still more, so I plan to enjoy this feeling while I can.

Around lunch time we grabbed seats at the restaurant on the beach and dined on poke and local burgers while catching up and making plans for the rest of the trip. South of us, Justin touched down safely in Honolulu and took a cab to Ala Moana to wait for us.

Cheers! Spa Day!

We headed down to the Resort's Spa for Spa Happy Hour and soaked our feet in tubs while sipping champagne for an hour. Our technicians were bright and lively. Mine had moved to Oahu from Austin, Texas just a few short months ago and gave me suggestions for things to do and places to visit once I moved there. Feet tingling with happiness, we reluctantly picked our way back to the car and were promptly caught in horrible rush hour traffic on our way to Honolulu. Justin was very patient with us, and when we finally gathered him into the car we breathed a sigh of relief.

Yoga on the beach

Alicia and Jesse would arrive 5 hours later, so we stayed downtown for the evening, did Sunset Yoga on the beaches of Waikiki and went to dinner at Hula Grill, where we feasted on fresh mai tais, seafood, and lobster mashed potatoes. I enjoyed the sunset yoga so much that I signed up to do a jungle yoga retreat with the same instructor the following Tuesday. I have never done yoga outside before but doing so and the sun set, waves crashing against the pier and wind whispering through my hair, was absolutely freeing. I highly recommend it to anyone who has not tried it before!

Day 3: Chicken Hunt

Sandy hands

Up early again and off to my happy place, Kailua Beach, despite the overcast skies. I made it my mission last time I was here to be in the ocean every day, despite the weather. I'm not the strongest swimmer but for me being in the waves, moving with the swells and feeling weightless in the salt water is incredibly calming. I wish I could start every day of my life in the waves and plan to make the most of it while I am here. No regrets when I leave!


In the midst of salty serenity, I happened to look up and notice that the mountains across the bay had disappeared in clouds of mist and fog. This is how rain works on the island. Last time I was here I attempted to use weather forecasts to plan my days and found them to be wholly unreliable. I think this is because weather patterns blow quickly over the island, impacting some parts and not others. There are, however, some signs that can be used to help predict rain as they come and this was one. I hustled to the car as the landscape in front of me disappeared and the rain started to fall.

Mike's Huli Huli Chicken

With some unexpected time on my hands I set out to find an eatery that dad and I had seen featured on Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives right before I left.

Driving into Kaneohe, I smelled chicken before I saw the yellow food truck stationed on the side of the road. Mike’s Huli Huli Chicken is especially well-known for their chicken, slow-roasted on a wood-fire rotisserie over Kiawe wood and naturally flavored with traditional Hawaiian sea salt. The result, as I can vouch for, is juicy meat with a crispy, flavorful skin that you might assume was fried.

A friendly employee conversed with me for about 5 minutes before I ordered, asking where I was from, what brought me to HI, and how I had heard about Mike's. When I mentioned the Food Network Show, he pointed excitedly at a signed poster of the establishment's owner and Guy Fieri that was plastered to the right of the order counter.


I ordered a chicken and garlic shrimp plate, which came with two scoops of white rice, mac salad, pineapple, and a hawaiian juce drink. Quite simply put, it was an enormous amount of delicious food. The shrimp were served with the shells and legs still on and were drenched in a delicious garlic sauce that made my mouth water. The pineapple was a perfect wedge of sweetness that balanced out the saltiness of the rest of the meal, and I was able to use the rice to soak up the juices from the shrimp and chicken. I hope to return here before I leave, Hardenburgs in tow, to try the pulled pork, which I hear is also fantastic.

On the ride home I passed the Valley of Temples,  a Memorial Park lush with rolling hills and simply-decorated plaques adorned with tropical flowers and leis. The Byodo-In Temple is at the rear of this park. As I was not dressed in a respectful enough fashion I decided to return another time and instead carried on to Kailua, where I spent the rest of the day exploring the shops, drinking Kona pour overs, and skipping through the aisles of Whole Foods.That night Janine and I made pizza and salad at home, watched a movie together, and enjoyed each other's company.

Day 2: RIP The Beet Box Cafe, Long Live Humuhumunukunukuapua'a

Startled awake at 5:30am by a sense that I'd overslept (11:30am EST), I got up after a few hours of sleep and watched the sun gradually lighten the sky from Janine's porch.

I engaged in my usual inner struggle - to run or not to run? - and eventually geared up, heading down Janine's complex driveway, where I startled some petite white cranes with my all-around speed, and out toward the military base. Last time I took up running in Hawaii I usually followed one of two paths - right out the driveway or left - I turned right this time, not wanting to deal with the hills and twists on the left-route, and huffed and puffed along while rocking out to some inspiring jams.

The sun was high and I was feeling okay, albeit struggling to breathe. The views while running were appropriately breathtaking on their own and did a good job of distracting me from my discomfort. I ran along a path to the start of the Marine Corp Base, where I would have needed Janine and two forms of ID to enter, then jogged back home with a sense of mild accomplishment.

After a light breakfast and some morning activities, Janine's tenant, Jess, and I packed up to head out to the North Shore for the rest of the day. My short-lived refresher course to driving Zac's standard in Rochester turned out to be unnecessary as Janine had upgraded her old car for... a Mini Cooper! Specifically a red, convertible Mini Cooper. The controls in the car looked like a space ship and as we drove, hair all over our faces and the sun beating down, I felt a little bit like I was driving on the set of an Austin Powers film.

Lemon and Vanilla
 Macadamia Nut Ice Cream

The whole drive I talked up the Beet Box Cafe, my favorite place on the North Shore, until I could practically taste the tofu, broccoli, egg, and ginger scramble and was thoroughly torn by the prospective smoothie options. Sadly, when we pulled up to the unassuming red-shingled building, it was closed and my dreams of consuming their sweet, sweet organic vegetarian fare were dashed. No one in Haleiwa could explain why it wasn't open and their Facebook page issued some vague excuse about being closed for a few weeks. I later learned that they are reopening in a new location, although not for a few weeks. We wandered the boutiques in search of a suitable replacement, unsuccessful, until I caved in and ended up eating ice cream for lunch from the delicious Scoop of Paradise and smoothies from a stand called Haleiwa Bowls.


Our next stop was Three Tables Beach on the North Shore, where we set up in the shade (it was 92 degrees) and bathed in sunscreen. Heading down to the water with snorkeling gear, we tried to enter the water at one point on the beach only to be bowled over by some persistent waves. A second attempt further down the beach was more successful.

 Upon plunging my face into the salty water an entire world not visible from the shore came clearly, and delightfully, into view.

Here's what I love about snorkeling: once you get past the feeling that you are suffocating and learn to take long, deep breaths through the snorkel, you can focus on the underwater terrain, which is diverse and, at times, rather unexpected. I spent about half of my time actively swimming from one part of the reef to another, taking in the dozens of species of fish that were gently kissing the coral, and the other half of my time just drifting with the waves, being surprised by what passedbeneath me, and bobbing back and forth with the current.

Sometimes schools of fish, startled by my presence, would take off in a cloud and I could feel their tiny fins on my legs as they struggled to get away from the danger of the giant fish swimming clumsily above them. Most were unthreatened by my presence and would go about their business in all their beautiful splendor. I saw fish in hues of electric blue, neon yellow, and olive green; fish the size of large dinner plates and others the length of my pinky finger; one that I'm certain inspired my favorite children's book, The Rainbow Fish, and many of Marlin's friends from Finding Nemo. Most notably I swam through a school of my favorite Hawaiian fish - Humuhumunukunukuapua'a - whose painted lips resemble thickly-applied white lipstick. I hope to acquire an underwater camera to capture some of these images next time I snorkel!

Upon returning home I rinsed the sand and salt from my body and got ready for dinner with the lovely Janine, who was off working with sea lions and birds at Sea Life Park for the day.

We went to Tokoname Sushi, a sushi restaurant that Derrick and Janine had taken me to two years prior for my birthday. Here we feasted on edamame, dumplings, Ahi Tataki (seared ahi tuna with cajun spices), and my new favorite, Salmon Furikake (boiled salmon served with spicy may, cabbage and micro greens, and a topping of chopped seaweed, sesame seeds, salt, and spices).It was wonderful to talk, catch up, and laugh with my old friend, whom I usually only get to see once a year (if I'm lucky). I am looking forward to a time (possibly soon!) when we will live closer to one another and will not need to cross oceans to have happy nights like this one.


On the way home, realizing that I still needed to complete one more thing off my "must do" list for the day, we stopped for an acai bowl just as Lanikai Juice was closing, and indulged while watching the most recent episode of Game of Thrones together. Looking forward to watching next week's episode with Alicia, Jesse, and Justin, who arrive tomorrow evening. Jet lag caught up with me around dinner tonight and I crashed hard, waking only once at 3am during an exciting dream in which I was slashing at White Walkers with my obsidian glass sword.

Day 1: Travel Day (and Poke)

Back at it again! Sadly, without Alex, who recently moved to Austin to start an amazing new job. 

Strange collection of figurines
at the Vancouver airport.

After some indecision about switching up my travel plans now that I was solo, I began my 26 hour day at 5am by driving across the border to the Toronto Airport. I crossed two time zones on my journey westward, encountered a lot of French speakers, and found ways to pass hours of time in airports between flights. My fellow passengers were polite, friendly, and easy-going (Canada!). Crossing into Canada to fly back into the U.S. saved me money but, ultimately, was a huge pain. I had to go through customs twice and they confiscated most of the gluten-free snacks I had packed for myself. I read all of Laura Hillenbrand's Unbroken, pausing at the plane crash survival chapter to question why I had chosen this particular novel for my 12 hour plane ride. It was a fascinating read that kept me occupied for most of my trip.

In case you forget you're in Canada.

Floating out of my last flight at 3am EST and into the open-air Honolulu airport, I was hit by a wave of tropical air that cleared my head. Travel days are exhausting but this one was worth it. Janine met me in her adorable Mini Cooper, which she would later give me permission to drive, and handed me a cooler full of poke and rice, which I had requested in lieu of a lei. We stayed up for a few hours talking and playing with her puppies before I drifted off, the sheer curtains in the open house gently floating to meet the edge of the bed. I woke up 5 hours later, watched the sun rise from Janine's back porch, and made some resolutions.

Can't wait to get started!

 I will walk or run or walk every day.

I will do two of the following every day: 

1. Be in the ocean

2. Hike

3. Eat an acai bowl or poke

HAWAII 2015!

The gang is getting back together and adding some new members to boot! Coming June 2015 Unreal Hawaii will return for two weeks with Janine, Alicia, and Genevieve starring in a fantastic summer reunion on Hawaii's finest island.  Viewers can expect to see their beloved stars snorkeling in teal waters, dining on poke and acai bowls, and hiking the dizzying heights of Oahu, as well as having new adventures with underwater life (sharks?!) and possibly boats! This season introduces new stars - Alex and Jesse - and will include some exciting plot twists. Inside sources suggest that this season someone new is engaged and one of our other beloved stars has been recently married! Stay tuned for details. Can't wait to share with you!